How to Be More Confident
Confident people have a settled state of self awareness and acceptance.
Start with the end in mind. Confident people have a settled state of self awareness and acceptance. Cultivate a solid sense of self. Get to know yourself. This may sound cheesy but the truth is we spend most of our day outwardly focused. Taking in information from other people and outside stimulation. How much time do you spend each day listening, perceiving, and responding to your self? This can look a few different ways:
Meditation: Observing the thoughts and sensations without judgment but from a perspective of curiosity.
Journaling: Forced and focused Organization of the stream of thoughts in your head.
Create: Creative outlets give us room to explore the different parts of ourselves less often utilized during daily life.
Be careful not to internalize others opinions about you. Know your circle of influence and for everything else let it go. They are often speaking from their own world lens. It has more to do with who they are than you. For example I am considered a tall woman in America but just a 18 hour flight away I would be considered average height in Congo. So which am I? This is why self discovery is so important. Stand strong in who you are, your self proclaimed identity.
“Be wise not to take advise from people with values that don’t align with your own”
Create and Enforce Boundaries
Show up for yourself. At the root of self care is To Honor Self. The best ways you can honor yourself is by working toward the goals and vision you have for yourself. A very close second is by setting boundaries. Imagine the woman you want to be, she likely has boundaries for the ways she expects others to treat her.
How will you know when you need to create a boundary, that feeling over discomfort or overwhelm is usually a good signal from your body that something is not right. Show others the way you expect to be treated by honoring yourself. Then set boundaries for the way others can and cannot treat you. These don’t always have to be verbalized. Non verbal boundaries can look like, limiting the time you spending listening to an overly negative friend talk about her problems. When you reach your limit gracefully re direct or exit the conversation. No lengthy explanations needed. This doesn’t make you a “bad person” it is a matter of self preservation and self care.
Change Your Mindset
Answer these questions:
I will grow myself to be more confident by doing :
I will grow myself to be more confident because:
I am confident about (list all that apply)
My confidence comes from
The future more confident version of me
Who else would benefit from you being more confident?
My career and relationships will improve as I become more confident because
What does the more confident version of myself do in social settings
How does the more confident version of me show up to a social event ( first date) (business presentation) (fundraiser)
Show Up As Her
Start showing up as this more confident version of yourself.
When you start behaving like the confident woman you want to grow yourself to be, your subconscious mind starts to change. Our subconscious takes over as our default way of thinking and acting. It is really easy to use our motivation and pre frontal cortex (the part of your brain taxed with executive functioning) to intentionally do confident actions__ Eventually this part of your brain will be taken over by other important life tasks and this goal will likely fall back to your default patters of thinking and behaving. Visualization is an effective tool for this. Spending just 10 minutes a day, preferably before going to bed, visualizing this confident woman. Be specific. Down to the very way she enters a room. How does she listen? Maybe she leans in or does she leans back with crossed legs?
“Dream lofty dreams and as you dream so you shall become ”
“As a man thinketh” by James Allen
mindset shift
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mindset shift _
