Hold onto those moments of clarity. Those moments when the clutter parts and you get a glimpse of what your soul try wants. They are peaceful and true. Write them down. When the screens are off, the phones down and you are left with just your own thoughts. Not the messages being throw at you by marketing agencies, ads, well meaning but intrusive family members, well meaning friends and loved ones, who want your happiness but are looking at you through their own biased lenses - what you really want. Write it down so you can go back to it. Especially when it all gets to be too much. When your vision is cloudy and you can’t quite see.

READER BEWARE: EMOTIONAL BRAIN DUMP BELOW

I don’t want a marriage. An institutional legally binding agreement. I don’t want a title. I want more. I’m willing to wait or not have it at all.If I Glory Okugo am going to give myself fully wholly promise to God that I will committee myself to loving His son and being the closest expression of His love to this man. There is only one condition I would ever agree to such outlandish terms. He is my dearest friend. He is really kind makes me childishly angry sometimes, becausely secretly I wish I could be so kind. He makes me laugh until I feel like I can’t catch my breath. I feel free when I’m with him, I can be the me that only I know. Well until now. My home. My safe place. Its hard to imagine such a person. Can they actually exist? I feel seen, heard, cherished and respected. I know that God is God but even this one seems impossible but I’ll keep holding onto the mustard seed.

GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD

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